The Pit and the Pendulum

of Self Publishing

Vincent contemplates doing something drastic after reading an unedited novel.

A while back I announced I would be reviewing books for my blog. I’ve met many wonderful writers via Twitter and my blog and received a nice little pile of books to review. A delight to someone like me, who loves to read a good book.

Most of these little tomes are self-published. I was a bit leery about that, but also excited, because I love helping others. And a good book review can do a lot for an author’s sales. However, in the course of reading these self-published books two realizations dawned on me:

Most of them are first drafts.

And none of them are professionally edited.

This came as a shock to me. Because each of these books have their own websites. And the authors attached to them are, without exception, nice people who are writers. They have blogs and are active on Twitter and Facebook as writers. So as I flipped through these books I wondered, do these folks read? And if so, do they not see that their ‘novel’ is not:

1. formatted like those they read

2. as long as those they read (in most cases)

3. as polished as those they read

Because one’s experience as a reader would inform one of these things. Wouldn’t it? Or are we blind when it comes to our own work? And if we are blind, then wouldn’t this be all the more reason to have our work edited by someone else? Preferably a professional?

I’m a little saddened to find this is the state of affairs. In the course of belonging to the writers groups I do I have had opportunity to read a few novels that were either destined to be self-published (their authors said) or were in fact, already self-published. And I always found them disappointingly amateurish and terrible. The results of the high and unrestrained excitement of a month of NaNoWriMo, or some such. But, these were all from authors with no internet presence; people who were isolated in their writing, or who had perhaps never written anything prior and had no training in it.

So I didn’t expect to encounter quite the same from these internet savvy folks who have so much more ‘going on’ for them as writers.

I won’t be doing reviews of these books, and I now have gotten myself into the unfortunate position of having to tell these writers why. Sure to be a morning of uncomfortable email writing, especially since I like the writers as people. But I won’t say a book is good if it is not for whatever reason. I cannot recommend a book that was a trial for me to plow through. And it is upsetting to me to have to dash anyone’s feelings.

Here are the main issues I found with these self-published novels. This first category concerns formatting:

1. No indents. (Really? You didn’t know you were supposed to indent at paragraphs?)
2. Not properly setting dialogue apart, where it should be, and/or indenting it.
3. Double spacing at the end of every sentence. (I have seen this on manuscripts over the years. The writers always insist it’s proper. It’s not. It’s an old fashioned typing habit. And it looks really odd in a printed book.)
4. Sometimes using quotations for dialogue, sometimes not. Sometimes using single quotations (within the same body of work) instead of double quotations—for no apparent reason.
5. Whole pages without a single break or indent, sometimes with dialogue buried in it.
6. Sometimes italicizing thoughts and sometimes not.

Ignoring these basic rules of English grammar makes the reading very difficult for the reader. Is that what you want the reader to experience when reading your book? Difficulty and distraction?

These next issues concern points in the actual writing that a good edit would have pointed out to the writer:

1. Using the same word many times within a paragraph.
2. Using too many adverbs or adjectives. (Which weakens our writing)
3. Using the same adverb or adjective repeatedly on the same page.
4. Excessive wordiness
5. Unedited dialogue which would read so much better if tightened up.
6. Rife with clichés.
7. Punctuation missing or improperly used.
8. Words misspelled.
9. Words missing.
10. Typos.
11. Undeveloped plot points which could/would have been developed in subsequent rewrites and would have made the plot more interesting and complex and surprising.
12. Under-developed or flat characters. (Again, this could be remedied by rewrites.)
13. No sensory description whatsoever. Sight? Sounds? Smells?
14. An imbalance between exposition, summary, action and dialogue.
15. Word count too low to be considered a novel. (Is 45,000 words  now a novel? When did that happen?)

People, don’t let the rush to say you’ve published a novel make you publish something less polished, professional and complete than the novels published by traditional publishers. Right now the pendulum is swinging toward self-publishing. But experience has taught that trends always swing back and reach some point of equilibrium. Where that will be nobody knows. One thing I know for certain: I do not want to see the high standard of literature turned into something shoddy. Please keep our body of literature up to a standard we can all be proud of and enjoy. If you have the time and money to hire someone knowledgeable to build a website for your self-published novel, why not spend the same time and money on getting it properly written, edited and formatted?

If you don’t, I will venture to say, you will never be taken seriously. And your novel will not become a classic that outlives you and is read and loved by many.

And isn’t that the goal?

(I will still be reviewing novels for self published writers and traditionally published writers alike. The only change in my review policy is that I will request a first chapter from any self published writer prior to agreeing to read the entire novel.)

A great link to basics of manuscript formatting: here.

An Old Friend

Years ago when I first started writing I had a typewriter. It was a portable Smith Corona. The lid clicked on with ease and had a handle, turning the entire thing into a nifty briefcase. It was very light, and the keys depressed with buttery smoothness. It made little noise; the soft patter of its keys was just right. It wouldn’t wake my parents if I was at the kitchen table at midnight, which was often in those days, when I was studying journalism and wrote for my college newspaper.

I recently read that the last typewriter had been made. The last factory making typewriters, in Mumbai, India, has closed down its production.  Then my friend, writer Julia Martin, wrote an amusing blog – ON a typewriter. 

 All this got me thinking and reminiscing. Those writers I know who are young or new to writing have little idea what it was like to craft a story on a typewriter.  What did we do to make changes? On a computer we have many methods. Copy and paste. Delete. Track Changes. But back in the ‘olden’ days we had a function called cut and tape—it involved using scissors to cut out the parts you wanted to delete or move, then using scotch tape to ‘add’ them in where they belonged. The result was a sticky mess of pages of varying lengths. Of course this all had to be completely retyped before submitting it to the editor.

Labor intensive, as you can imagine.

Or, there was Corrasable paper; paper coated with a film of some magical stuff that allowed one to erase mistakes and retype over them. But you couldn’t submit anything on it, because it had a bad tendency to smudge if stacked, or handled. God help you if you had sweaty hands—and who doesn’t have those when a deadline approaches?

The invention of the word processor was a god send to writers. I don’t want to go back. As my good friend Diana would say: Technology is my friend.

Still, I wish I hadn’t sold that first typewriter.  Hearing the last one ever has rolled off the assembly line made  me feel nostalgic for days gone by, and my friendly little Smith Corona. If I had it I would haul it out of the store room and set it on a shelf in my office. Maybe burn a little candle or some incense beside it…just to remember when.

Book Fest, Back by Popular Request

In response to requests for a little more about the Tucson Festival of Books I got out my notebook and will give you a few of the tidbits I gleaned.

Literary agents Amy Rennert and Claire Gerus had many suggestions for new writers. Both thought following Publishers Marketplace and Publishers Lunch were good sources to keep in the loop about what is being published.

A social media marketing workshop proved to be interesting. Although I don’t subscribe to the idea of automating tweets, as the workshop leader suggested we do. (Personally I am not interested in reading automated tweeps, so why should I send them out to others?) I use Twitter to build relationships with folks. I want to actually know about those I interact with on Twitter. I’ve found support there, and opportunity to give my support to others.  If you haven’t tried it, perhaps you should?

During a workshop for sagging middles – don’t look down at your waist, we’re still talking writing here – I learned that getting through a tough middle on a novel can simply be a matter of asking, “What is the next indicated thing a character would do? Then possibly asking, “ What is the last thing she would do?” Also, “What would make my character suffer the most?” (Always my favorite, brwhahaha.)

I attended the festival with workshop writer friends: Char Bishop, Diana Douglas, LaDonna (yes…just LaDonna, you know, like Cher, or Prince) Janice Russell, Patricia Cox, David Waid and John Blohm. All fantastic writers, and wonderfully supportive of each other. (Members of the ANWW.)

Writers of the ANWW and friends

Trish arranged for us to get together with some other writer friends Saturday evening at The Blue Willow. We ate outside on the patio. It was the perfect way to cap off the first day of the festival. The ladies later retired to one of our rooms at the Marriot, where we drank wine and talked about the high points of our day.

(It would take not one, but two, strong lattes at the funky hookah bar near campus to get me going the next morning.)

I’m marking my calendar for next March and definitely plan on attending. And if you plan on being anywhere near Arizona next year in March, you should too!

The Tucson Festival of Books – highly recommended.

A Pox on E-Readers!

Yea, that’s right, you heard me;  a pox on ‘em!

(Or maybe just a nasty little e-book virus. Dead power source, maybe?)

Okay, that may seem a little harsh…let me explain.

I am sick to here (picture me with my hand to my brow) of hearing statements like, “E-books are the wave of the future” and “paper books will soon be obsolete.”

Really? I don’t think so.

Oh, and let’s not forget my favorite comment – uttered by a guy a mere 10 years younger than me and possessed of a head like a bristly blond cement block, “you need to get with the new technology and stop being techno-resistant.” My reply to him? Dude, I love technology; I am on my laptop hours a day. I do the research for my writing on the internet. I carry a cell phone. I have a website, and a blog, for crise sake!

See, this last comment is the very crux of why I am irritated. Some people (and the list includes pretty much anyone who doesn’t really know me) assume that since I don’t want to run out and purchase an e-reader it’s because I am afraid of technology – and I find this misconception both patronizing and annoying.

So let’s put that one to bed first..                                                        

I love useful technology and embrace it. The kind of technology where life would be harder or less convenient without it. The conception of the World Wide Web was the most important invention since the wheel in my opinion. And cell phones are right up there with penicillin.

It’s the gratuitous stuff that I have a problem with; the ‘new technology’ that seems designed merely to make us think we have to have it, but which really doesn’t add any significant value to our lives. And yes, I am talking about e-readers, here.

So, let’s have no more of that kind of techno-resistance talk.

Here’s the thing: I love books. REAL books. The kind that beckon to me from the bookstore or library shelf like a siren’s call to a randy sailor. I love the feel and smell of them. The heft and girth of them. (And yea, I prefer the big ones – when it comes to books, size does matter – pass me one of Diana Gabaldon’s 1000 page pleasers). I love the colorful jacket art and turning them over in my hands to read the back copy; opening the cover to read the long teaser coyly hidden inside the front jacket. Bookstores? Wonderland. Used bookstores? Dusty-smelling, dimly-lit Heaven. Used bookstore with a latte machine? Ahhh, Paradise.

Are you starting to breath heavy yet? Cause I am.

I love holding the book  in my left hand and slowly turning the pages with my right. It’s something tactile. And don’t give me that bunk about how you can do that with an e-reader, cause I’ve tried it, and honey, it ain’t the same. It’s a simulation of the experience, not the experience itself.

I’m not buying that argument that e-books will save trees, either. Human beings consume trees in the form of paper in a thousand ways every day. Are those who claim e-readers should replace real books for this reason installing bidets and giving up toilet paper? I doubt it. (I see those jumbo packs of extra plush and soft in your baskets at Wal-Mart.) When you give up your TP, then maybe I’ll start to take your tree hugging sentiments serious.

Alright, so let’s look at some pros and cons of real books VS the virtual.

If I drop my real book in the pool or tub – two of my favorite places to read – I simply fish it out. A day on the cool decking or on top of the dryer and it’s good to go.

An e-reader? Hmmm….Last I heard they aren’t water-proof, or even resistant. (The e-reader industry’s solution to this is a $40 zip-lock bag thingy. Double yuk.)

Advocates say an e-reader is great to take on vacation.

So’s a real book.

“But you can take all the books you want – loaded inside an e-reader,”  my friend Bethany will say.

Well, what kind of vacation are we talking about? Am I going to read more than one book?

“E-reader downloads have become really, really cheap.”

Uh huh. The last REAL book I purchased, a onetime best-seller, cost me 25 cents. Boo yah!

“The classics are now free downloads.”

Okay, now that’s a nice feature. I like to read a classic a few times a year. (Reading Ivanhoe at present). Granted they are, and have always been, available for free at the public library. Enough said.

“E-books help avoid the problem of having to get a publisher to accept your novel for publication. Someday everyone will just create their own e-files and sell them on Amazon.” This from a few writers I know and articles/blogs I’ve read.

Have the people that like this idea actually read any self published books lately? Because I have – and let me tell you, not many are up to the standards of what’s published by the industry. Does the publishing industry ever publish dreck? Absolutely. But most of what makes it to our bookstore shelves is well-written and well-edited. A lot of the self published stuff is barely even proofread, let alone edited. Imagine wading through a dung heap of self indulgent, low-brow gibberish to find the gems.

(This is not to say every self published book is terrible – there are some very good ones. But they are the exceptions. I know, I know: you think yours is one of them. Well it’s NOT! Can you say re-write? Go back to your desk and rethink that plot, deepen the conflict and develop your characters. Then have someone else read it for you. And I don’t mean your wife and 12 year old daughter. They love you, so they’re gonna lie. Have someone with an English degree read it – preferably someone who has read thousands of books.)

But that’s another blog.

Okay, now that I’ve had my little rant – and you have been very kind to stick with me and read it – let me just say, I actually like e-readers. I feel they are a nice addition to real books. And anything that encourages folks, especially younger ones, to read, is a good thing.

Just don’t try and tell me they are going to ever replace REAL books.

Click the link below for another viewpoint:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/02/05/books/05ebooks.html?_r=2&src=me&ref=books

What would you pay for an e-book?

http://reviews.cnet.com/8301-18438_7-10450009-82.html

 

Want to weigh in? I’d love to hear what you think! Feel free to reply in the comments section below.