In days of Olde,
when knights were bolde,
and laptops not invented,
well…only monks could read.
Or write anything down.
Okay, I know that doesn’t rhyme…but it’s true!
And so what we’ve got from that era is filtered through a narrow monkish perspective. Hence…no swearing. There simply are no records of what kinds of bad language folks used back then. Which makes it devilishly difficult to write about a bunch of hardened knights doing gruff manly things – which surely involved a goodly deal of cursing. (Imagine a bunch of marines doing what they do and not swearing… See what I mean?)
But what kind of swearing went on in medieval times? you ask.
In 1100 the F word did not exist. Like the laptop, it simply hadn’t been invented yet. In medieval England they said swiving. And it wasn’t really used as a curse. More just a benign description of the act.
Doesn’t have the same umpf anyway, if you ask me.
We’ve got some nice juicy cursing from Shakespeare’s time:
Thou gorbellied brazen-faced gudgeon!
Thou puking ill-breeding malcontent!
Thou infectious guts-griping hedge-pig!
Thou pribbling milk-livered haggard!
Ahhh…The Bard did have a way with words, didn’t he?
But that was five hundred years later than the century Sword of Mordrey is set in. Which would be like asking a pilgrim character to swear how we swear now.
What’s an historical writer to do?
I know I can use my imagination. That’s what writers do, right? But think about it. You who write modern day stuff don’t have to think up swearing. There’s an abundance of colorful descriptive nouns and adjectives all around you from which to choose.
One of my fellow writers, David Waid, is also working on an historical novel, and I received an email from him a while back that would make most of you laugh (it did me). Because it was a desperate call for medieval cursing. I must admit I had fun answering him. (Maybe too much.) I’ve had to imagine most of the cursing that goes on in my novel. Plus I’ve picked up some foul language from other medieval novels I’ve read over the years.
Things like: God’s blood, God’s teeth, By the Virgin, By Satan’s hairy arse or warty prick.
I imagine medieval cursers enjoyed comparing people they didn’t like or who behaved badly to animals, much as we do now. Pigs, or dogs (who let the dogs out? woof! woof!). Serpents and shrews. Being so religious, I bet many curses had to do with defaming the other person’s soul, or cursing them to Hell. And you could always defame their parentage. Especially mom. Saying something nasty about a person’s mother is and always will be offensive. Whore’s son is a perennial favorite of historical writers. And you can always add some descriptive before the insult to mom, like this: swag-bellied whore’s son. That’s got a kind of satisfying alliterative ring to it, don’t you think?
Then there were those jibs that just attacked the way a person looked, and or their intelligence, or possible lack thereof: Swag-bellied tosspot for a fat drunkard. Pimple-arsed lackwit. You could go after their profession, or imply a shameful one: Poxy-cheeked strumpet.
Well, clearly this is a challenge writers who set their novels in modern times don’t have to face. But it has been fun, hasn’t it?
August 8th, 2011 at 7:37 am
Oh yes, it is pretty fun ~ The one that struck me from The Bard was when Character X called Character Y ‘lily-livered’
Such class in their curses!
August 8th, 2011 at 8:52 am
Yes, I think Shakespeare was a classy guy, Claudine. Even if he did write for ‘the people’.
August 8th, 2011 at 7:48 am
Hi Cynthia, loved this. Here’s one from old Norse, as told to me by a fellow who studies this sort of thing. Skeeter. Aparently, it roughly translates as Bullshit.
Thanks for the laugh, Pru
http://www.prudencemacleod.com/
August 8th, 2011 at 8:54 am
Skeeter…I like it, Prudence. Sounds like something we’d say today. Does he know what year/era this was from?
August 8th, 2011 at 8:54 am
Unfortunately, cursing is like breathing for me. I wonder what I would have been saying in 1100? Might be kind of fun. “Thou maketh o’er this minute, wee spawn of Satan!”
Ha, take that, F word!
Good stuff, Cynthia! XO
August 8th, 2011 at 9:04 am
Wee spawn of Satan…I love it, Hallie!
August 8th, 2011 at 8:59 am
Is there no ‘like’ button on your blog Cynthia? If there is…I can’t see it.
August 8th, 2011 at 9:06 am
Should be,Alex. Usually right above the word Responses when you click on the comments.
August 8th, 2011 at 10:10 am
Alexander, if you come to the post via its permalink (title), the “like” button is on your menu bar.
August 8th, 2011 at 9:14 am
LOL. I would have never thought of this problem, but it sounds like a pain. What a fun post. Pimple-arsed lackwit. Love it!
August 8th, 2011 at 9:20 am
That one is one of my favs, Stacy. Glad you enjoyed it.
August 8th, 2011 at 9:25 am
I never even thought about the difficulty of medieval swearing. Good for you, Cynthia, to come up with curse words of your own. If I ever get stuck in a bind, I might employ some of your suggestions, so people won’t really know what I’m talking about but the meaning will still be there!
August 8th, 2011 at 10:00 am
I never ever would’ve thought of this (not writing historical fiction) — such an interesting problem, for that matter dialogue in general must be quite challenging (of course the upside is that no one is really left who would know how people really spoke!). A very interesting blog post, love it!
August 8th, 2011 at 10:27 am
Makes me want to run right to the computer and write a scene taking place in the knight’s locker room after the jousting competition is over.
August 8th, 2011 at 10:44 am
Char, complete with twisted towels whipping hot shapely asses?
August 8th, 2011 at 11:13 am
Come now, Catana…surely you mean arses. Back then an ass was an animal you wouldn’t want to share the locker room with. Well…unless you’re into that kind of thing.
August 8th, 2011 at 11:22 am
Arse, it is, Cynthia. A pox on my addled brain.
August 8th, 2011 at 10:48 am
Cursing is much more fun when you use your imagination! I’m always encouraging my family to be more creative, but they seem to be stuck on the same old 4-letter words.
I love the idea of a knight’s locker room. Do you suppose they brag about the size of their lances?
Fun post!
August 8th, 2011 at 11:15 am
Perhaps just how lately they’ve couched their lances.
August 8th, 2011 at 8:10 pm
Haha, love this! I don’t know how you historical writers do it, but you have my undying respect. To go back so far in time and not have as much recording keeping to rely on?! That would throw me into a fit of cursing, for sure
Still…it must be kind of fun. You should use the insults you create on 21st-century folk every once in a while (just to see if they realize they’ve been insulted)!
August 8th, 2011 at 8:56 pm
My hat goes off to you historical fiction writers. I think – for this very reason – what you do is so difficult… making sure you’re accurate, that historical facts match up, that your swearing is realistic even if no one knows what it really sounded like back then! My personal favorites from your oh-so-colorful list (which I enjoyed perhaps too much): By Satan’s hairy arse and Pimple-arsed lackwit (OK – maybe I have an arse-swearing fetish?). Warty prick has a nice ring to it, also
.
Thanks for a fun post. Sounds like you’re on the right path to the perfect swear words and phrases! Oh – and some things never change do they … i.e. calling someone’s mom names…? That’ll work every time.
August 9th, 2011 at 10:20 am
Just one more reason I stink at fiction. I’d love to be able to write from the Arthurian age, though. Keep it up. Sounds like you’ve got the right idea.
August 9th, 2011 at 10:51 am
Luckily for me,my WIP is set in the 1930′s during the building of the Hoover Dam. I found two men in their late 90′s that were teenagers at the time and we had a long session one day about cussing. It was one of those research days that you just love!
August 9th, 2011 at 4:18 pm
Ha! That must have been fun. I just love old people when they get to remembering. Such a wealth of information. And cussing, well…that had to be good!
August 9th, 2011 at 3:04 pm
I think I’ll start using pribbling milk-livered haggard in my vocabulary. Has a nice ring to it!
August 9th, 2011 at 6:25 pm
What a fascinating post, Cynthia! I remember when I was trying my hand at Viking romances, I was always giddy at the “cursing”, somehow finding the earlier phrases so infinitely raunchy and fun. Of course, you could make them up, too, I supposed. So long as they sounded right!
August 9th, 2011 at 6:42 pm
Know any good ones, Erika?
August 9th, 2011 at 7:07 pm
What a fun post! I agree there would probably have been a lot of animal comparisons and hell/cursing references.
August 10th, 2011 at 3:12 pm
That certainly sounds harder than creating new creatures but way more fun! Perhaps there was one raunchy rule breaking monk out there but his books probably got burnt first.
Good luck with your research.
August 10th, 2011 at 3:59 pm
Perhaps there was one raunchy rule breaking monk out there but his books probably got burnt first.
So true!
August 14th, 2011 at 7:10 am
Did I forget to respond to this? I was pretty sure I had already replied, but that may have been all in my head. XD
Funny enough, though I’m not shy about swearing in conversation with people I know well, I very rarely write curses in my books. My short story “Harvest” has a bit of swearing, but it really fit the characters, you know? In general, I actually lean towards writing the awesomely cliché, “He swore, a harsh string of words” style of dealing with it, at least in the fantasy projects. I guess the horror stories are a bit rougher all around. What a funny distinction I have!
I won’t try and start inventing new historical swears for you. I’d be here all night, and it would degenerate into a fit of giggles.
~Ashlee
http://ashleesch.com
http://theDragonsHoard.bigcartel.com
August 15th, 2011 at 10:40 am
Poxy-cheeked strumpet! Oh, that is just too good. I might try to use that one today.
I wonder what your search engine terms look like.
August 18th, 2011 at 5:32 pm
Might Chaucher have anything to offer? As I recall, some of his work was pretty raunchy.
August 19th, 2011 at 10:40 am
OMG love this. Too funny! One nice thing about writing fantasy– I can drop all the F bombs I want, and come up with other seriously fun curses (mostly around the bodily functions of dragons, but I digress)…no need for historical accuracy.
September 30th, 2011 at 4:47 pm
Tremendous blog post
December 13th, 2011 at 8:18 am
[...] Popular:A Goodly Deal of Cursing combines humor with Medieval swearing, so no surprise that it was so [...]
February 24th, 2012 at 1:51 am
Actually, I fear the remark about monks being the ‘only’ ones who could read or write is not totally true, but it is a very popular misconception about the Middle Ages, and one that will simply not die.
Simply put, there were many examples of nobles (noth male and female) who could read and write, as well as clerks, administrators etc. Indeed there would have been no centralised administrative system in England or any other country if only Monks were literate.
Perhaps the rhyme should include them, too…
February 24th, 2012 at 7:59 am
You’re quite correct, my lady, by the Middle Ages more folks could write. And even during the earlier Medieval era, which is what I am referring to here, some people other than monks could write.
As I’m sure you’re aware, many of the ‘clerics’ actually were monks, trained to write at monasteries, then assigned out to be some noble’s scribe.
I’m doing a post soon busting the myth that people never bathed during medieval times. Be sure and check back for that one. I’m sure you’ll enjoy it!
Thank you for visiting, and for your comment.
February 27th, 2012 at 1:01 am
I was actually thinking of ‘secular’ clerks, but then again there were different ‘classes’ even of monks, you had the cloistered ones, then you had lay brothers etc, or people who were put into monastries for the sole purpose of education.
I suppose it was not so unlikely that a person originally taught to read & write in a monastry could taught thier children such things themselves, if they had the time that is..
Thanks for looking on my blog btw
February 27th, 2012 at 1:06 am
I have recently developed something of a fascination with the Pastons and Anna Komnena. The former were Literate even when they were free ‘peasant’ farmers (I dont like that word as it implies serfdom, and not all peasants were serfs), and Anna of course was the daughter of the Byzantine Emperor.
I suppose they had monks in Byzantium too, but I dont know nearly enough about thier fascinating society, which was one of the most sophisticated in the known world.
February 27th, 2012 at 5:27 am
Byzantium IS fascinating. And yes, they were very advanced for their times. Probably so were the Persians.
A good fiction book to read set in Byzantium during this time is The Belt of Gold by Cecelia Holland. If you love Byzantium you’ll enjoy it.
February 24th, 2012 at 1:55 am
I am also not sure anout thier being ‘no records’ of people swearing in the Middle Ages, as the chioce words which Thomas Becket used to describe his enemies and rivals after one particular incidenent in parliament seem to have been recorded for posterity, and they were none too flattering.
February 24th, 2012 at 8:14 am
I love that you bring up Becket, as he is one of my favorite medieval figures. He led such and interesting life!
At the age of 10 Thomas was sent to Merton Priory to be taught to read and write by monks, who were the teachers of wealthy young nobles lucky enough to have that option.
He later attended St Paul’s, where he was again schooled by, you guessed it, monks.
He studied canon law and eventually became a priest, and was then made Archbishop of Canterbury. A church man through and through!
February 27th, 2012 at 1:13 am
But things may not be as straigtforward as they seem even there, as some churchmen such as deacons and canons were allowed to marry as late as the 12th century. Not something generally associated with the Medieval church.
As to attending Merton Priory and St Paul’s those were basically the 12th century eqivalents of secondary school, and college/University, so going to them did not necessarily make a person a ‘churchman’.
I may be wrong (I often am) but was’nt Becket ‘rushed through’ the ranks of the church, and even ordained as a priest specifically so that the King could make him Archbishop?
I’m trying to remember whether Becket was the one who allegedly had a mad pet goose that followed him around….
July 16th, 2012 at 2:30 pm
No, that was Hugh of Lincoln, who had a pet swan. And bit a piece off the relic of the arm of Mary Magdalen at Fecamp Abbey (according to his chronicler the monks only said “proh, dolor!” (alas, for shame!) but I bet they were thinking something more unChristian.)
February 27th, 2012 at 1:15 am
Again thanks for visiting my blog, I like yours. All the best The Lady of Winchester.
September 16th, 2012 at 4:30 pm
Yes, very much fun. But I can imagine how difficult it must be to write. You give some good solutions or ideas. I should bookmark this page in case I just can’t resist writing about days long gone.
Is your book getting close to done?